My daughter Hiya turns 5 today. We are celebrating at a nearby club, with friends and family. The motto is ~ least hassle, most enjoyment. So, Hiya in a lovely white party frock, is all set to enjoy her special day. Foods, drinks, cake, games, all ready to order. We hardly have to move a finger. The children will enjoy and so will we.
I am suddenly reminded of memories of my birthday celebrations, or rather our birthday celebration as my brother and I have our birthdays on consecutive days, and it was convenient for my mother to celebrate both our birthdays on a single day. We never grudged her that, as we were too happy with the least that we got. My mother bought each of us a packet of toffees to be distributed in school, and I used to feel on the top of the world and very special with the little bit of extra attention that I got from my friends and my teachers.
My brother on the other hand, brought 3/4th of the toffees back, every year, because, after distributing about 15-20 of them, he used to feel alarmed at their quickly dwindling numbers, and would think it wiser to stop the distribution for the day.
Back home, we each had ~ a new dress, were exempted from our daily study routine, a cake to cut, and got to play with all our 'para' friends, and cousins, who would all have been by then, invited over to our place by our PR/para savvy dadi.
After endless rounds of 'lukochuri', 'dark room'which rendered us fatigued, we would be served a fixed birthday menu (which was exactly the same, year after year) of luchi, ghugni/alurdom, and payesh. At times, ghugni/alurdom would be replaced by chicken kosha, but these instances were few and far in between.
Most of the gifts that I received were books, which I was supposed to share with my brother, and perhaps a doll, which, thankfully I did not have to.
I still remember the arrangements and preparations and planning, being done by my ma and dadi, leaning over the stove, their faces red owing to the proximity to the heat and perhaps with a bit of excitement added to it. They had very little resources, but tons of enthusiasm.
That is perhaps the factor, that I lack. Enthusiasm.....I perhaps try to make up with glitz and abundance, and end up giving a 'plastic' birthday to my children.
The question, that arises today in my mind, is that, will my children remember their childhood birthday memories, 30 years hence?? the way that I am doing now??
Am I giving them a childhood that they would like to fondly return to in memories, when life pressurizes them too much.
Perhaps, they will. Perhaps, for each individual, their childhood is unique and precious to him/her, in their own way and perhaps, I have forgotten to identify the simple pleasures and innocence of life.
I really hope that the fault lies in the way, that I am seeing things, in my comparision between two vastly different generations. I really do, both for my sake and for theirs.
I am suddenly reminded of memories of my birthday celebrations, or rather our birthday celebration as my brother and I have our birthdays on consecutive days, and it was convenient for my mother to celebrate both our birthdays on a single day. We never grudged her that, as we were too happy with the least that we got. My mother bought each of us a packet of toffees to be distributed in school, and I used to feel on the top of the world and very special with the little bit of extra attention that I got from my friends and my teachers.
My brother on the other hand, brought 3/4th of the toffees back, every year, because, after distributing about 15-20 of them, he used to feel alarmed at their quickly dwindling numbers, and would think it wiser to stop the distribution for the day.
Back home, we each had ~ a new dress, were exempted from our daily study routine, a cake to cut, and got to play with all our 'para' friends, and cousins, who would all have been by then, invited over to our place by our PR/para savvy dadi.
After endless rounds of 'lukochuri', 'dark room'which rendered us fatigued, we would be served a fixed birthday menu (which was exactly the same, year after year) of luchi, ghugni/alurdom, and payesh. At times, ghugni/alurdom would be replaced by chicken kosha, but these instances were few and far in between.
Most of the gifts that I received were books, which I was supposed to share with my brother, and perhaps a doll, which, thankfully I did not have to.
I still remember the arrangements and preparations and planning, being done by my ma and dadi, leaning over the stove, their faces red owing to the proximity to the heat and perhaps with a bit of excitement added to it. They had very little resources, but tons of enthusiasm.
That is perhaps the factor, that I lack. Enthusiasm.....I perhaps try to make up with glitz and abundance, and end up giving a 'plastic' birthday to my children.
The question, that arises today in my mind, is that, will my children remember their childhood birthday memories, 30 years hence?? the way that I am doing now??
Am I giving them a childhood that they would like to fondly return to in memories, when life pressurizes them too much.
Perhaps, they will. Perhaps, for each individual, their childhood is unique and precious to him/her, in their own way and perhaps, I have forgotten to identify the simple pleasures and innocence of life.
I really hope that the fault lies in the way, that I am seeing things, in my comparision between two vastly different generations. I really do, both for my sake and for theirs.
Well said, but I feel that for every individual thier childhood memories are the fondest of all.Our kids will definitely remember their childhood events with the same enthusiasm like us although the scenarios will be vastly dissimilar.When you grow up and remember your past events, you tend to concentrate on those which gave you the greatest pleasure and try to forget the unpleasant ones. But all said and done, today however we try our best to provide our children, their would still be areas of deficiencies or insensitivities on our parts that would affect them. It would be upto them to really learn from our mistakes and provide their offsprings a better world than what we could offer.
ReplyDeleteIts not the quantity that matters , its more of the quality time that the parents offer which counts.That will be the most coveted of all memories of an individual till his last days!
Well written , Jayeeta. I appreciate your feelings and what you want to voice. I feel the same, I have thought over it for quite sometime. But one thing that keeps haunting me now, such extravaganza we generate on our daughter's /son's birthdays! i do too , but are we right in doing so. Are we actually making a mistake of not letting them understand and realise the innocent pleasures, the small pleasures of receiving a box of chocolates, a book or may be a simple cotton dress! may be, generation has changed, ideas have changed, feelings have changed !
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very interesting thought. nicely written. best wishes.regards
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