Sunday, November 2, 2014

The lone-star state, savoir faire & others - Westheimer Experiences

It is so heartening to learn that there are still people around to whom friendship and friends are retained beyond that point, where friends are not required anymore and the relationship has outgrown its 'usability'.
I suddenly bumped into a friend at Houston Durga Bari. He seemed to be as much "at home" having 'khichuri' in the food tent on Oshtomi morning as he was in "Borjora'. I had not been in touch with him for many years and expected only exchanges of friendly 'hellos & hi 's'.
Initially I thought of it as his perfunctory courtesy when he invited me to his place at Westheimer Avenue in Downtown Houston. But the warmth, cordiality and hospitality shown by him, in a foreign land, where he had relocated to, in his late 40's from a suburb of Durgapur in India and was still struggling to get a foothold in his adopted land of 4 years, brought tears to the eyes of a person who was slowly getting to believe that relationships depend only on the usability of the partner concerned.
He drove about 20 miles from his office to pick us up and took us to his apartment. He did not make a show off of his success and he came across as the same simple soul with no pretensions. People had written him off here, back home as a failure, and I assumed that it was a story of tenacity and hard struggle for him to have reached where he was at the moment. He did no exhibit his acquired possessions in the US, which I have noticed was the norm with many expats there. In fact, the amount of effort he took so that I could visit his tiny apartment, the extreme happiness on his face when I went there, his constant gestures that showed that he would be elated, if we tasted whatever food he had prepared for us, out of whatever little he had, or his flaunting of our friendship to all, who knew him there in Houston, his opening his Skype on his laptop, to show me off to his parents and family back in India...made me feel so acknowledged, wanted and cherished.
It was a diametrically opposite experience from others which had shaped my belief about relationships and friendship overall. I shall retain the flavours of the spiced Mexican dried mango from 'Sprouts' in my senses for years to come along with the flavour of rekindled friendship.
This just goes on to prove that in order to learn, one needs to travel.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Rumination 8

It is only a journey between two breaths. Then, what is all this fuss about? Just keep loving everything you have...hold your loved ones close, keep reminding them and yourself, how much you love them and how lucky you are to have them in your life...you never know, when circumstance and people will change...nothing is more painful than remorse and regret...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Rumination 7

The belief that one need not be unhappy just because one is alone...

The conviction, that, being able to align with one's true personae, feeling totally at ease with oneself, and not having to put up a facade or to masquerade is the only way to peace and serenity....

The realization, and acceptance of the fact that though our future demands stock-piling our resources for our future security and comfort, nevertheless, our present is entitled to our resources first, as our future will depend on the knowledge, perception and experience of our present....

The perception of the truth, that each one of us are isolated creatures, we are born that way, we each live our own life and we die alone....

And finally knowing deep inside, that what has ended for me today, will end for you tomorrow, as nobody can have nothing for ever.....

Can be a very liberating experience indeed.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

If we must part.

If we must part,
If part, we must
Then let it be like this...
Not with moist eyelashes,
nor, with mortifying reminiscences or stricken dreams.
Let us not part with an anguished kiss,
or burn the same bridges, that we once crossed together.
Maybe, just that one more time,
you will touch my hand lightly,
and say...
until tomorrow....

Jayeeta Sen Roy

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Motherly escapades

Statutory Warning: This post is going to be all mushy...Readers can contemplate having a tissue ready. These are arbitrary sketches of my consciousness and perception of the world at large, as a child and as a teenager, then as a middle-aged parent trying to grasp the understanding of the other generation, of both the previous as well as the next.

I know that I am behaving like a sentimental, mother, who does not lose a single opportunity in blowing her nose and her trumpet in public and making a public display of emotions, when it concerns even the slightest of achievements of her children. I know that I am doing something today, of which, I was feeling mighty embarrassed about, two decades earlier. That is perhaps what role-reversal does to a perfectly logical person.

The other day, while wrik's father, who usually takes it upon himself to buy school shoes for the kids, called me up to confirm the shoe-size of wrik. I had to gently remind him that school shoes were not required for wrik anymore. There was a moment of silence, after which, we both smiled ruefully and admitted to each other that we didn't need to buy school shoes for our boy any more. Right at that moment, perhaps we both realized, that, that one phase of our lives, which, held together, both the difficulties, as well as the sweetness and satisfaction of being the principal care-giver, to our little boy, for whom we were the center of his universe, was almost done.

"wrik, don't gorge on fuchhkas, you've already had about 20, you will have a stomach upset and won't be able to attend your first day at school". I have to look up to speak to him, as he is almost a foot taller than me. I see a frustrated teenager face. "Ma...please!, not 'school' anymore...told you so many times, its college...COLLEGE". He would have loved to repeat this word a few more times perhaps. I hung my face, chagrined. It was no small crime to label a first year B. Tech student, as a 'school-goer'. I must be careful not to embarrass him in front of his friends.

This reminded me of an incident when I was barely six. My baba, had been transferred to a remote area in the North-East, in the state capital of Manipur, Imphal. I was admitted to the only proper school in perhaps the entire town. It was a missionary institution called, the 'Little Flower School'. After my interview with the principal, where she assured my father that, I would be admitted to class I in the school, I remember our walk through the never-ending corridor, holding hands, and the chagrin and embarrassment I felt, when, baba, in a sudden impulse, held my hand up and announced in a loud voice, " my mani is a big girl now, she is in class one". There were classrooms beside the corridor, and it was very silent, and I could see many eyes turned towards us in amazement. I still remember, even then, a puny girl that I was, I hushed my baba up.

Later in life, I remember, during my board exams, ma, used to turn up in the break between two examination slots with a water-bottle full of 'Tang' the orange drink, which she was convinced, gave me a lot of energy, and an aluminium tiffin-box full of, believe me or not boiled spinach, with a dash of butter and a sprinkling of black-pepper, which again she had gathered from some unknown source, provided my brain with just that extra amount of grey cells and gave me an edge over my competitors. Amidst hushed snickering from my friends, which my ma never seemed to hear, I used to be escorted to a secluded spot, on the steps, just in front of our school parlor, and I had to clear till the last morsel of that ambrosia. I used to be mortified at the idea of facing my friends after my ma left. Thinking back, I guess, that my first board exams were less frightening than those boiled-spinach sessions in front of my friends.

This memory propels me to the present again, when my son was appearing for his boards too. The first few days, I accompanied him to the examination center, and stayed back till his exams were on it's way. And I had just started giving myself credit for the fact, that I was a much more logical version of a parent than my mother ever had been, as I had subdued my intense urge to hold wrik's hand, one more time and give my 'little boy' a peck on the cheek, before he entered the exam hall, when on the very next day, wrik told me mildly, "ma, why do you have to go to the hall everyday and gossip with aunties and gather the most unsettling of information, which are totally unrealistic?!!" To tell you the truth, I was bruised. Kids of today, did not realize how immensely lucky they were to have been born to parents like us, who always had the best for their children at the back of their mind while giving them enough personal space and freedom. Could I have ever even thought of uttering these words to my ma? But times were changing, I admitted to myself and brushing aside all resistance, I stayed put on my mission. After all, 'he was just my little boy" and I being the ma, had lost the ability to hear those friendly hushed snickering.

I hope, wrik, forgives his ma, her possessiveness, her misgivings, her being a too motherly mother, when he grows up, and fondly looks back at my antics, the way, I do today, even though times are changing and times will be changing. Because, I believe that certain things never ever change.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Rumination 6

Soul scattered into a multitude of shimmering mercury globules...
swimming away from me to that limit,
where blinded-visions fail to see through a veil
where the beat of heart only forces out blood,
cleanses organs with oxygen....
as though, that was the only thing that it ever did,
Purple darkness comes closer...
caresses my fingers, like some bygone remembrance...
lightly brushing my ear lobes...
my eyelids are heavy in tranquility...
Does the blood gush faster and warmer?
Is this where I will transiently dwell again?


Monday, July 21, 2014

To be able to die with dignity.

Touching on the morbid again, the vexed issue of euthanasia is again on the debating forum here in India. Those who do not substantiate such a view feel that since every human being is a creation of God, our lives are not only our lives for us to do with as we see fit. 

There have been multitude of people from diverse background who have ratified this concept over ages and some have actually showcased this theory in their own lives. As recent as in december 2006, Italian poet, painter and activist, Pierre-Giorgio Welby who was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, at a very young age, which is an incurable and severely debilitating disorder, chose to end his life with euthanasia. As the disease progressed and he was unable to breathe on his own from 1997, he became active in the 'right to die' movement and on repeated requests, his anesthetist friend Mario Ricci, agreed to end his life with an overdose of sedative. Ricci has faced murder charges, as euthanasia is illegal in Italy. However, Ricci's 'act of kindness' supporters are on the rise as they argue that living on life-support system just for the sake of living and causing damage to the quality of life of close and loved ones is worse than death.

Euthanasia, touches a raw chord with the creatively inclined people as well as the media. Films showcasing euthanasia can be traced as way back as 1939, example being the 'The Dark Victory' to 'Million Dollar Baby' which is about a woman boxer who was incapacitated. Other examples include 'You Don't Know Jack' in which Al Pacino portrayed suicide advocate Dr. Jack Kevorkian and the 2004 Spanish drama, 'The Sea Inside', based on the struggles of a sailor who fought against the Spanish Parliament to establish his right to die.

As we are mostly aware, Euthanasia, had its origin in the Greek words, 'Eu' meaning, good and 'Thanatos' meaning death. A form of peaceful and dignified death, when living on becomes a punishment and death comes as a relief. It is the practice of ending human life, where chance of recovery is nil and mercy killing can limit suffering.

Euthanasia has been in the focus of controversy for almost three thousand years, however, the dilemma posed by it, still divides society generally. This has been a question which has been debated upon, legally, medically, philosophically as well as theologically. Authors, poets and philosophers in antiquity hinted and wrote about the 'willing self-sacrifice' and the justification behind it. 

The Greek tragedies of Aeschylus, Sophocles and those of Euripides, advocated passive euthanasia, in the Aeschylian classic drama, "Prometheus Bound". Greek Philosophers like Plato was against people committing suicide but made allowances for people who suffered insurmountable pain. In the 'Republic', Plato states that patients unable to live a normal life owing to suffering, should not receive treatment for the prolongation of life. Thus it is evident that though he did not support active euthanasia, nevertheless, he advocated passive assisted death. 

Active Euthanasia was rejected by the majority as it was considered a violation of the will of God. Passive euthanasia is brought about by an omission, when an individual is allowed to die, by withdrawing a treatment or withholding it. Thus it is considered less brutal than active euthanasia.

Most world religions disapprove of euthanasia. They are the guardians of the sanctity of preservation of life and to them, euthanasia is against the will of God.  Religious leaders argue that, euthanasia weakens society’s respect for the sanctity of life. Islam is totally against euthanasia or terminating an individual's life by himself. The Roman Catholic Church shares similar staunch views against euthanasia. Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism all feel that euthanasia interferes with the karmic cycle of an individual as the pain an individual is going through, is essential for that particular individual and to disrupt it midway is to interfere with an individual's progress towards ultimate liberation from the cycle of birth, death and rebirth.

Euthanasia in the Indian Context:

Indian cinema has traditionally shied away from depicting euthanasia. However with the release of 'Guzaarish' in 2010, the total aversion towards addressing euthanasia, in drawing room conversation as has been prevalent till then, has seen a slight shift. Though, 'Guzaarish' the story of Ethan Mascarenhas, a former stage-magician who was rendered a quadriplegic owing to an accident, and who later turned into a radio jockey and filed an appeal  to end his life, did not do too well at the box office, nevertheless it touched a chord with the educated and the discerning Indian.

The ancient Indian had divided his life into four stages - Brahmacharya, Garhasthya, Vanprastha and ultimately Sannyas. The last part of Sannyas was undertaken by an aged individual when he had lost all interest and hope in life and was eager and ready to face death. He then left his family and usually went to an unknown location, where he voluntarily withdrew all essential life continuing systems. This was never a forced act, but rather an act of volition, thus validating the fact that euthanasia in one form of 'Swechchhamrityu' was known and widely supported in ancient India. 

Euthanasia in Indian Mythology:

In Hindu mythology the Mahabharata, the grandsire Bhishma had a boon, of dying only when he wished to. Though this is not entirely in conformity with the present day concept of euthanasia, nevertheless, this ratifies the fact, that ancient hindus believed that ending one's life on one's own terms was acceptable. Sati, daughter of Prajapati Daksha and wife of Devadidev Mahadev invoked, Agni, the fire God and immolated herself as she could not accept the humiliation meted out to her husband by her father.
In the Indian epic, Ramayana, Rama and his brothers chose 'jalsamadhi' as a means to end their lives and drowned themselves in the river Sarayu. Sita on the other hand, resorted to burying herself in the earth, which gave way under her by her sheer will force. Meghnad's wife Sulochona, burned herself in a pyre alongside her husband as she did not want to continue living a life without her dearest. In another epic, the Mahabharata, the protagonists, Yudhisthira, with his four brothers and their wife Draupadi, willfully took the treacherous path to the unknown interiors of the mighty Himalayas, in order to end their lives.

Prayopavesa or fasting to death has been an acceptable way for the Hindus to end their lives under certain circumstances and it is actually very different from what most people mean by suicide. Prayopavesa is a gradual process, unlike suicide, and gives ample time to the person in question to prepare himself and his close ones for the aftermath of the act. While suicide is always associated with feelings of desperation, frustration, anger or depression, Prayopavesa is associated with feelings of serenity and it uses natural means in a passive way to end one's life when living has become more of a burden.

Indian Legal System & Euthanasia:

While active euthanasia remains against the law in India, court rulings have permitted terminally ill patients the removal of life support. A Supreme Court case is currently pending about living wills, which enable the patient to leave written instructions ordering such a removal in the event he becomes incapacitated.
The issue has also been brought to the fore by several individuals petitioning for assisted suicide, including Seema Sood, a once outstanding engineering student crippled for 15 years. But after receiving an operation in 2009 that promised to restore mobility, she expressed regret at ever having requested death. However recently, again as multiple surgeries weakened her muscles and pain continued to disable her, she has again appealed to the Indian PM, Narendra Modi so that her 'right to die' is granted.


Another story, that of Aruna Shaunbag, highlights a condition which undeniably and unequivocally calls for mercy killing, as killing her and relieving her from this life would be the only act of compassion, which can be granted to her. Shanbaug, a former nurse at the hospital, has been lying in a vegetative state for the last 41 years, after she was sexually assaulted by a hospital sweeper in November 1973. In March 2011, the Supreme Court had rejected a petition filed by author Pinki Virani seeking mercy killing for Shanbaug, which the hospital's management and nursing staff had opposed. Virani has told the story of Aruna in her 1998 book Aruna’s Story.

Arguments For and Against:

Arguments in favour of and against euthanasia are many and varied. With time, as ethics and culture have evolved, so should evolve the necessity to address the bio-ethical issues in the background of paradigm shifts in other areas of societal and humanitarian norms. At one point of time, abortion was unethical, immoral and illegal. It is still frowned upon by the Roman Catholic Church, however with time, and with the population explosion, spiraling out of control,  this concept has changed too. 

Since we cannot create life, are we authorized to willfully take away one? is a question posed by all disapproving of euthanasia. Though this question seems logical enough, a very poignant question in answer to this crops up immediately in my mind. What about the art of warfare that trains young men and women in the art and the science of killing? If taking somebody's life was ethical enough in the name of religion, then why is it unethical to end a life at the very request of an individual, whose life it is and to whom life has become a burden? If it was objectionable to take a single life, then why doesn't law-makers holding this opinion, attempt to stop warfare for good and use the money for the benefit of humankind? For something to be humanely ethical does it only have to be legal?

Another argument in favour of people who are in disagreement with euthanasia is that if euthanasia is legalised, then it is bound to be misused by a section of people. Legal professionals have voiced their apprehensions on the matter. The argument that comes to one's mind is that, if an ethical and logical issue was not made into a law, for fear of misuse, then why should ultra-sonography be allowed on pregnant women so that the gender of foetus can be determined and female foetus can be aborted arbitrarily, in an age where random female foeticide has caused serious imbalance in the male-female ratio in our country? 

Hence it is totally improper to argue that a law should not be passed for the benefit of society, simply, in apprehension that it can be misused. Rather, care should be taken, so that the loopholes in the legal structures can be managed effectively so as to contain abuse and misuse of that law.


In the words of the Nobel laureate Indian poet Rabindranath Thakur, instead of fearing death and trying to dissociate it from our consciousness, why cannot we romance death and embrace the concept of the ultimate truth? "Moron re...tu hu momo Shyam somaan.."



Author: Jayeeta Sinha Roy


Comments & feedbacks will be appreciated

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

একলা চলার বউনি



আমাদের ছোটবেলায়, খয়েরি রঙের চামড়ার স্যুটকেস, শতরঞ্চির বেডিং আর টিফিন ক্যারিয়ারে লুচি আলু চচ্চড়ি সমেত সদলবলে ট্রেনের কামরায় উঠে গুষ্টিসুখ অনুভব করা দিয়ে শুরু হতো আমাদের বেড়াতে যাওয়া। ভ্রমনের সঙ্গে গুষ্টিসুখ, এ যেন ইলিসের সঙ্গে সরষে বাটা। বিউলির ডালের সঙ্গে আলু-পোস্ত।

যত বড় হয়েছি, গুষ্টিসুখের ধরন বদলেছে। আগে আমি ছোট ছিলাম, এখন ছোটোরা আমাদের সঙ্গে থাকে। গুষ্টির মধ্যেও বিভিন্নতা...কখনো বন্ধু বান্ধব, কখনো আত্মীয়-স্বজন, হবি-গ্রুপ, আবার কখনো অফিস কলিগ।ট্রেনে উঠে হই হই করতে করতে খাওয়া, খাবারের মেনুতেও বৈচিত্র্য। লুচি আলু চচ্চড়ির জায়গাতে পরোটা চিকেন কষা, বিরিয়ানি, বাঙালি রসনার উপযোগী চিনা চাউ- চিলি অথবা মাঞ্চুরিয়ান চিকেন এসেছে। যেটা বদলায়নি, সেটা হল গুষ্টিসুখের অনুভুতি। নিচের বার্থে একসাথে গুটিশুটি হয়ে বসে, খবরের কাগজ পেতে কাগজের প্লেটে করে ভাগাভাগি করে খাওয়া, খাবারের স্বাদই অন্যরকম। নাগরিক জীবনের স্বাচ্ছন্দের স্বার্থে আমরা যে আপনি-কোপনির জীবন বেছে নিয়েছি, সেটার একঘেঁয়েমিটা কাটাতে আমাদের এই একসাথে বেড়াতে যাওয়া অপরিহার্য হয়ে উঠেছে। একা একা ভবঘুরেবৃত্তি আমাদের দেশে বিশেষ দেখা যায় না। যদিও বা দেখা যায়, তারা সকলেই পুরুষ। মেয়েদের একলা ঘুরে বেড়ানোতে আমাদের দেশে বিস্তর বিধিনিষেধ। প্রাথমিক আপত্তিটা বাড়ি থেকেই ওঠে। উঠোন সমুদ্র যদি বা পেরোলেন, রাস্তাঘাটে একলা দেখলে আমাদের অগনিত বীরপুঙ্গবরা উৎসাহী হয়ে পড়েন বড্ড। এই প্রসঙ্গে একটা ছোটবেলার স্মৃতির কথা মনে পরে গেল। নাইন কি টেনে পড়ি, মা আমাদের তিন ভাইবোন কে নিয়ে ট্রেন এ চেপে বাবার কর্ম স্থল হায়দ্রাবাদে যাচ্ছেন। মা, ভয়ে আধখানা হয়ে আছেন এই চিন্তায় যে তিনটে 'ছোট বাচ্চা'-কে নিয়ে একজন একা মহিলা কি করে পৌঁছবে। তখন ট্রেন এ লেডি'স কামরা থাকত। ছটা বার্থ থাকত সেই কামরাতে, দরজা টেনে বন্ধ করে দিলে, একটা আলাদা ঘর যেন। সেই ছটার মধ্যে চারটে আমরা দখল করলাম। আমাদের হট্টগোল থামতে, অপর দিকে তাকিয়ে দেখার ফুরসৎ পেলাম। দেখলাম বাকি দুজন বার্থে আমাদের সহযাত্রী, দুই স্বেতাঙ্গিনি, প্রায় আমারই বয়সী। বিস্ময় আর অবিশ্বাসের ঘোর কাটল যখন, তাদের সঙ্গে কথা বলে জানলাম যে, স্কুল শেষ করার পর দুই বিলিতি বান্ধবী 'ব্রেক ইয়ার' নিচ্ছে। নিজেদের রোজগারের জমানো টাকা নিয়ে, বিদেশ ভ্রমণে বেড়িয়েছে। মনে পরে গেলো আগের বছরের কথা, স্কুল থেকে শিক্ষিকাদের অভিভাবকতায় ক্লাসের সব ছাত্রীদের পুরী যাবার একটা সুযোগ এসেছিল। হাজার অনুনয় বিনয় করেও, নানান যুক্তি দেখিয়েও, মার অনুমতি আদায় করতে পারিনি। বাকি সব বন্ধুদের হই হই করতে করতে যাওয়া আর খুশি ঝলমলিয়ে ফিরে এসে আমাকে ব্রাত্য করে নিজেদের মধ্যে সুখস্মৃতির সেই রোমন্থন করার সেই ঘটনা আবার মনে তাজা হয়ে গিয়ে, আমার মনের প্রলেপ পরা জ্বালাটাকে উসকে দিল আবার।



রাতে ঘুমের আগে বেশ সজাগ ছিলাম। মালপত্র তেমন কিছু নেই যদিও। কিন্তু কখন ঘুমিয়েছি নিজেই জানি না। পরের দিন ঘুম ভাঙল গাড়ির একটা ব্রীজ পেরোবার শব্দে। বাইরে তাকিয়ে দেখি মহানন্দা পেরোচ্ছে। একটু পরে নিউ-জলপাইগুড়ি ষ্টেশনে গাড়ি ঢুকলো। আমি যাব মালবাজার, হাসিমারা পেরিয়ে আলিপুরদুয়ার। কিন্তু শোনা গেলো হাসিমারার আগে একটা মালগাড়ি হাতিকে ধাক্কা মেরেছে। ফলে লাইনে গাড়ি চলাচল বন্ধ। আমি পড়লাম অথৈ জলে। কি করব কিছুই বুঝতে পারছি না। খুব অল্প আলো ফুটছে। শিলিগুড়ি শহর এখনো ঘুমন্ত। ষ্টেশনের ঘুমও ভালো করে ভাঙেনি। দু'এক জন সহযাত্রি ভাসা ভাসা  পরামর্শ দিলেন, যে নিউ-জলপাইগুড়ি ষ্টেশন থেকে রিকশা বা অটো করে পুরোনো শিলিগুড়ি জংশন ষ্টেশনে গিয়ে মালবাজার পর্য্যন্ত প্যাসেঞ্জার গাড়ি ধরে নিতে। কিন্তু স্থির-নিশ্চিত করে কিছু ভাবতে পারছিলাম না। কিছুটা অসহায় লাগছে এটা বুঝতে পারছিলাম। সেই সঙ্গে বিরক্ত লাগছিল, প্রথম বার একলা ভ্রমনেই এই বিপত্তি হল।




আমার বাবা বহুকাল আগে শিলিগুড়িতে থাকতেন চাকরিসূত্রে। সে সময়ের কিছু স্থানীয় মানুষের সঙ্গে পরবর্তিকালে আমাদের যোগাযোগ রয়ে গেছে। নিউ-জলপাইগুড়ি ষ্টেশনে দাঁড়িয়ে দাঁড়িয়ে সেরকম একজন মানুষের কথা মনে পড়ে গেল। গৌরিদা আর বুবুন বউদি। খুব যে ঘনিষ্ঠ যোগাযোগ ওঁদের সঙ্গে এমনটা নয়। পরিচিত, এইটুকু বলতে পারি। আমার ফোনে খুঁজেপেতে ওঁদের বাড়ির নম্বর পেলাম। এক মুহুর্তের দ্বিধা, এই ভোরবেলা ঘুম ভাঙাবো? তার পরে করেই ফেললাম ফোন। ওপাশে গৌরিদার গলা পেয়ে মুহুর্তের মধ্যে কিছুটা ভরসা ফিরলো। গৌরিদা চিনতে পারলেন এবং সঙ্গে সঙ্গে চলে আসতে বললেন ওঁর বাড়ি আশ্রম পাড়ায়। একটা অটো ধরে পৌঁছলাম ওঁদের বাড়ি। রাজকীয় খাতির পেলাম। চা-জলখাবার খেয়ে একটু বিশ্রাম নিতে গিয়ে ঘুমিয়েই পড়লাম। এদিকে গৌরিদা ততক্ষনে অনেক কিছু ব্যবস্থা করে রেখেছেন, সেটা বুঝিনি। ঘুম থেকে উঠে শুনলাম আমার জন্যে মাল বাজার পৌঁছনোর একটা ব্যবস্থা করে ফেলেছেন গৌরিদা। এখান থেকে একটা ট্রেকার ছাড়ে দুপুর বেলা। সেটায় আমার জন্যে জায়গা থাকবে। ঘন্টা দুয়েকের মধ্যে মালবাজারে নামিয়ে দেবে। আর মাল বাজারে সরকারি রেস্টহাউসে আমার থাকার ব্যবস্থা করে দিয়েছেন গৌরিদার এক আত্মীয়। এ যেন আমার কাছে মেঘ না চাইতেই জল। কি বলে যে......




মালবাজারে সরকারি অতিথিশালা একটা বিশাল ব্যাপার। কিন্তু অতিথি খুবই কম। রিসেপশানে সরকারি কর্মচারী ভদ্রলোক রীতিমতো ধর্মসঙ্কটে পরে গেলেন। বৈধ সব কাগজ পত্র আমি জমা দিয়েছি, তবু বার বার জিজ্ঞাসা করতে লাগলেন যে সাথে কোন অভিভাবক আছে কিনা। খুঁতখুঁত করতে লাগলেন। ঘর পেলাম দোতলায়। জিনিষপত্র রেখে একটু হাত পা ছড়িয়ে বসে এক কর্মচারির কেমন যেন মুখচেনা লাগলো। মনে পড়লো বাবার সঙ্গে বহু বছর আগে এসেও এঁকে দেখেছিলাম। উনি বললেন কোন চিন্তা নেই, যা লাগবে উনি ঘরে এনে দেবেন। শেষ বিকেলের আলোতে অতিথিশালার ছাদে উঠলাম। সামনে মাঠ, আমবাগান, বহুদুরে নীলচে পাহাড়ের সারি দেখা যাচ্ছে উত্তর দিকে। চারিদিক খুব নিস্তব্ধ। সন্ধে নেমেছে। অতিথিশালার বার থেকে কিছু হইচই ভেসে আসছে। একটু ভয় করছিল। নেমে এলাম নিচে। ঘরের দেওয়ালে হরেক বর্ণের মথ। নিজের সাথে আমি মুখোমুখি আজ বহুদিন পর। একদম একলা। কিন্তু সত্যি কি একা? বাড়ির লোকজন বা বন্ধুরা নেই বটে, কিন্তু আছেন গৌরিদা, ওঁর সেই নাম না জানা আত্মীয়, যিনি আমার থাকার বন্দোবস্ত করেছেন, আরো আছেন অতিথীশালার সেই বয়স্ক কর্মচারিটি। একলা কোথায় আমি? একা না বেরোলে এই মানুষগুলো অচেনা থেকে যেতেন হয়ত। একলা চলার বউনি করতে বেরিয়েছিলাম। নতুন বন্ধুত্ব আর সম্পর্কের বউনিটা হিসেবে ছিল না। অলমিতিবিস্তারেণঃ

কলমেঃ জয়ীতা সেন রায়

ছবি: লেখিকার নিজের

Till Death Do Us Part

The faint glow of the setting sun glistened on the ripples of the Jhelum, as the ripples moves away one by one. The wind coming from the ...