All in the Game

Maya turned back, as she heard her name, being called out. Bhargav, the history teacher was calling out to her. ‘Leaving early today? What’s the occasion?’ he asked after rolling his eyes and winking. She was in a more than gorgeous sari than that was suitable for a teacher in school. Maya smiled back, she replied to Bhargav, ‘in a bit of a hurry today, talk to you later, okay?’ She ran down the stairs and walked briskly across the basketball field. Just outside the school gate, there always sat an old woman, selling flowers and garlands. She bought a jasmine garland from her. Sandip loved the smell of jasmine, she smiled to herself as she thought about it. Sandip was in for a surprise, as she had taken off after half a day at school and wanted to be home early.

The metro was comparatively empty as the ‘office rush’ was still a few hours away. She sat down at a seat near the gate and the cool breeze made her feel drowsy. She went back ten years in her thoughts. At about this time, ten years back, her house was swarming with relatives and friends and the smell of fish fries and pulao, wafted in the air. Her groom was supposed to arrive by dusk, at ‘godhuli’ and the entire household was in a rush. Her friends were getting her ready, the red banarasi lay on one side of the bed, jewellery boxes were strewn about and a cane basket full of jasmine garlands were lying near the foot of the bed. Those were happy memories for her.

Her days at the one roomed apartment were happy. Sandip was working as an accountant at a small Investment Firm. It was very difficult to make ends meet, and she had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to prepare Sandip’s breakfast and his tiffin, which he carried to office. This way they could save on some money. Sandip walked for about 2 kms to the bus stop and Maya did all the household chores. Having mutton, once a month, bought from a nearby meat-shop, was a day of celebration for them and every month each small thing that they bought for their home made them feel a little more rich and proud of themselves.

The scenario soon changed, however, as one evening, Sandip, rushed in, his eyes flushed with excitement, Maya knew that her days were about to change. Sandip had received a fabulous offer and a company accommodation. The raise in his salary was also considerable. That night as they lay together, and moonbeams filtered in through the net curtains, they felt that they were perhaps the happiest couple on earth. Success and happiness begets more happiness and success and soon enough, Maya, who was looking for a job, secured a teaching position as a geography teacher in the junior section of a secondary school. It was time, Maya thought that they should think about starting a family and Sandip didn’t seem too averse to that.

Soon, they started seeing lesser and lesser of each other as work pressure increased for Sandip. He had more friends now and frequently was late in returning home. He was also a frequent traveler now and had to leave town more often. Sanjay was Sandip’s closest friend at office and he dropped in often during weekends. Sanjay was a bachelor and he accompanied both Maya and Sandip to their trips to movies and dinners out. Slowly, Maya started confiding in Sanjay too and his knowledge about all and sundry, his story weaving capacity kept Maya mesmerized. What she longed for, from Sandip, his companionship, his intimacy, he started looking for, in Sanjay. However, whatever she did, she made sure that she never transgressed the boundaries of her marital vows. Despite everything, her emotional needs, cried out in want and so whatever little emotional support she got from Sanjay, she sapped it up like dry soil waiting for rain. Sanjay’s closeness with Maya did not go past Sandip, and to Maya’s utmost amazement, Sandip was totally indifferent to it. Maya was baffled, and hurt at the same time. Somewhere, still deep down inside, she yearned only for Sandip and hoped to see him angry or jealous. That would still mean that he still had dormant feelings for her. The other side of love was not anger, jealousy or hatred, it was indifference. She was bruised to no end that nothing about her mattered to Sandip, anymore, and in order to ease that pain, she looked up to Sanjay for company, in order to fill up her void.

One night as Sandip was in the washroom and Maya had finished cleaning up the kitchen, she picked up, Sandip’s phone and  his wallet from the living room couch so that she could keep it secure in the bedroom drawer. Suddenly a text message entered Sandip’s phone. ‘My body is aching for you Jaan’. Maya stood transfixed to the ground. There was nothing left to imagination. Nothing could cover up the truth that was glowing in sharp white letters in front of her eyes. So this was it, this was the reason for Sandip’s indifference, this was the reason, he was always tired and never thought of holding her, hugging her or kissing her. This was the reason that her husband turned the other way and snored as soon as he touched bed. She slumped on the floor, still clutching on to the phone and the wallet. Her eyes were dry and glowing in pain and humiliation. 

Sandip, came across Maya, sitting cross-legged on the floor, near their bed. He called out to her a number of times, and when she did not answer, he muttered and grumbled under his breath and then he went to bed alone and started his rhythmic snoring spells. Maya could not still believe that this was happening to her. She kept rocking to and fro, and tried to calm herself down. She knew that screaming, shouting or crying would not help and that things could go worse, that way. She stayed awake the entire night and just to avoid facing Sandip, she went to lie down in the couch in the living room. She heard Sandip, wake up, go to the washroom, she heard the clank of pans, as Sandip made a cup of tea for himself, She even felt, Sandip coming into her room and stand quietly by the couch as she kept pretending to sleep. She was broken, bruised and sleep was coming naturally to her, but before, dozing off, she left a message for Sanjay, asking him to see her before going to office.

Sanjay stood glum faced, his head hanging, before Maya, who was screaming like a banshee. ‘you too, Sanjay?! You betrayed me too? You must have known all along that Sandip had a soft spot for Kanika at office, You must have seen what was brewing between them and now you find the opportunity to come and tell me that they go out together on office trips only after I crossed you??!!’ Sanjay, frantically tried to calm Maya down. ‘Maya, I only did this, because I could not bear to see you hurt and humiliated.’ ‘But could you stop me from getting hurt, or stop the truth from seeing daylight?’, she screamed again. Sanjay, nervously fumbled in his pocket for his cigarette, but found his phone. He waited and thought for a minute or two and then called Sandip at his office and asked him to come back home on an emergency basis.

When Sandip hurried home, already, guessing the situation there, Maya and Sanjay were slumped on the living room couch. Sandip was ready with his speech. Without a word, he sat on his knees in front of his wife and asked for forgiveness. He also promised never to repeat his dastardly act, ever again. Sanjay was a witness to the scene, where the couple clung to each other for their dear lives. Maya was holding on to Sandip as if she would never let him go.

That was about a year back and today on their 10^th anniversary, Maya was all set to surprise Sandip, with his favourite dishes, and an Emporio Armani watch. The only other invitee was Sanjay. The clock was ticking towards 7 as Sanjay, rang the bell. Maya, expected to see Sandip with him, but, Sanjay informed her that he was stuck up with some last minute work and would arrive in an hour’s time. Maya looked up to Sanjay and asked him directly. ‘Tell me, Sanjay, is that woman still running after, Sandip?, is Sandip still talking to her? Please don’t hide anything from me. Is Sandip late today, again, because of her?’ ‘What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?' Maya's patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst. Sanjay knew that she was serious. 'Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I'd say.'

'Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .' she rolled her eyes in disgust. 'That's what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man. Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.' She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, 'Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?' Sanjay muttered something that was not very clear and excused himself to go to the washroom. Suddenly a text message entered Sanjay’s phone which was lying on the dining table. ‘can’t wait to see you, Jaan, even an hour of your absence seems too long.’ Maya clutched Sanjay’s phone, the same way, she had held on to Sandip’s phone. A deathly and eerie silence ensued, as Maya passed out.