Loneliness Revisited

The clock ticked away with ferociously
The more I squirmed away, the more it pushed me
towards that abyss of silence,
where, as the rest of the civilization sleeps,
I dread to face my bare self, mocking at me,
stripped, shorne of all my glory and pride,
Shed of that cocoon, embodying, all that I wanted to be.

As I braced myself to finally open my eyes,
and peer at my naked, bleeding self...
I grieved at, what could have been,
but what, did not.
I condoled at, what I yearned for, but
what could never be mine,


I have roamed blindfolded,
for that midas touch, that elusive feeling.
Perhaps, here, there, elsewhere..
The fever moves me on to new frontiers,
through untold misery.
I believe that I can reach.
My journey is my teacher.

Dawn approaches, the horizon turns pink.
I carefully wrap myself up in my armor,
and brace myself for yet another day.
I will have to wade through it all.
There is no escape.
The writing is on the wall.

As Promised!

Come to me, like a patch of winter sunlight,
through the mesh of leaves...

In the warmth of a blanket in the early hours of morning,
as the fog trickles in through the window.
In the dream, that I never wanted to end,
but forgot in the bright glare of the day.

Come to me, like a gust of hot wind,
across a bluish-gray lake....
carrying the heady scent of jasmine,
cajoling me to sleep.

Come to me, as a star-studded sky,
seen through a torn feathery cloud...
as the waves caress my toes,
choking me in the feeling that I couldn't want for more.

Come to me in the smell of the first few drops of rain
touching the parched ground...
promising, that life will find,
its own way...to be!

Author: Jayeeta Sinha Roy

Just a few steps away!

Just a few more years,
to spread my wings.
I convince myself,
as I burrow my head in my knees.

Just a few more tears,
to reach contentment.
Relentlessly, pushing through barrenness
As I reach out to hold your hand.

Just a few more pulls at heartstrings
to know that I am alive
Seeking detachment, yet
desiring to be present, at my will,
where, I will.

Perhaps,

Life is too short,

to make out...

what could have been

and what did not...


Liberties galore,

The world at our feet.

Why would we still want,

to our childhood, retreat?

The Choices We Make!!

Unrippled existence, but serenity.....

Mundane routine, yet security....

Identical dreams each night....

but a few hours of assured sleep.

Foregoing the roller-coaster thrill,

and knowing the last chapter of each book...

but is it, worth it?

There is, no looking forward to....

No wind in my hair, or the sun in my eyes...

My nights and days are bereft of longing

There is no feeling of exultation,

as I approach the peak...

No pain, no tears, no perspiration,

but no beatific smile of content to follow them, either.

I have been there and seen it all

But my innocent emotions have been left far behind too...

Shades of tears!!

That is how it ends,
one bright sparkle,
then cascading silver.
Unabashed, unlimited.

Holding in its saline stream,
Words unspoken,
Pangs unredeemed,
Dreams unwoven,
Anguish hushed.

Or, perhaps in....
Honour retained,
Pride reclaimed,
repressed innocence, revealed,
a fond caress, amidst unyeilding barrenness.

That is how it always ends...
In varying shades of tears.
I am glad for that tear, that I can shed.

Too late!!

Is this the right moment,
to pour my heart out?
Or is it too late?

Can I hope to make you believe,
that we will realize our vision someday?
Or is it too late?

Can we finally make an effort to
walk those few extra steps?
Or is it too late?

Can I still make you glance back,
for a last look, after moving on?
Or is it too late?

Can the silence between us,
still answer all our emotions?
Or is it too late?

Can I let go of the sunshine, the joy,
breathlessness, anguish, tears?
Or is it too late?

Author: Jayeeta Sinha Roy